Running myself into the ground was (is) a trademark of mine.
I desired to be everything for everyone all the time. In the course of doing this I earned a spot at the top of my high school class, I was a very sought-after babysitter in the Roanoke Valley, I both took classes & assisted with classed at the dance studio. I was the Head Lifeguard at the lake where I worked & the co-founder of the swim club!
In my own eyes – my time was neither valuable or my own. I was created to do things (for others) and often times to earn my place.
When I got to college I made straight A’s first semester – and attempted to find the areas around campus where I could again “earn my place”. I learned though that nothing seemed to give me any sort of satisfaction anymore.
I’m very talented at morphing myself to be what others want me to be.
But eventually I had to ask — What is that doing to me?
At what point is pleasing others more important than taking care of myself and doing what is best for me, my body, my mind, and my soul?
In this process of recovery that I’ve been on for nearing 10 months now – I’ve learned that in standing for recovery, in standing for hope, in standing for awareness — I need to first stand for me, and all that I was created to be.
What once was “selfish” is now part of basic “self-care”.
And it is my job to take care of me
and your job to take care of you
So that we may be the best, healthiest, truest people we were meant to be!