I try to be perfect, and when I say that this is what I mean:
I try to be everything I think everyone wants me to be. I try to be everything I think I should be.
But in doing that I’m learning that I just fail at being myself (and there isn’t anything I hate more than failure). I hurt people sometimes simply because I’m afraid, maybe its fear that I can’t be perfect for them, or maybe it’s fear that their presence will disrupt this false sense of security I’ve built. – and it’s usually those people that mean the most to me that I hurt the most. I don’t know how to stop being afraid because as I chase perfection with everything I have, all I do is come closer to the realization that it doesn’t exist.
It doesn’t exist. So who should I strive to be? What should be that goal?
I guess I understand the words “it’s not about the destination – it’s about the journey” But understanding it and believing it are different – just as believing it and living it are different.
Hi, my name is Erin – and I am so far from perfect.