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I don’t write poetry much anymore. I used to to process the beginning of recovery from my eating disorder. But I re-read this poem today – and it struck something inside of me. I worry a lot – right now, it’s about graduating from college in less than two weeks, getting a job, my family, my friends, the future, the past, relatinshiops and things I can’t control. We all worry – it’s part of our nature. But what good does it do us? For me it makes me feel sick. It makes my eating disordered behaviors and moods flare up – and makes me miss the moment I am in. I know a lot of people have spent a lot of time worrying about me in the past too. I guess, we should all just remember to breathe.
By: Erin
Dedicated: To my mom: I love you so much.
Worry sits in places of my body
Like in my chest
Like in my stomach
Like in my shoulders
And some of the rest
Worry eats at my heart and my soul
Pushing and fighting my mind for control
“Don’t enjoy the moment you’re in.”
“Obsess over the ones that have yet to begin.”
Worry creeps into my being unwanted uninvited
Ruining my joy with the question: “What if?”
Feeling as though you are living on the edge of a cliff
Preventing trust, hope, love and peace
Worry does nothing but make discomfort increase
So how do we combat this difficult and hard feeling?
This is something I need to face – as part of my healing
The truth is I don’t know
Right now I’m wracked with worry to the extreme
And it seems never ending – like a rushing stream
But if God is sovereign over everything like we’ve been taught
I guess the only thing I can think of is to pray and give him a shot
A shot to work in my heart
For the wisdom he does impart
A shot to allow me to grow
It is true I may be a little hesitant though
A shot to do work in me
So that others may see
There is no need to worry after all
Christ died for it all