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One of the biggest challenges in my recovery was learning how to listen in to my body and my emotions. A large part of that was figuring out when I was tired. If I let my mind or body become too exhausted I was more prone to participate  in unhealthy behaviors or become filled with negative emotions and fall into a downward spiral of depression. This poem is about becoming aware of my body’s need to rest and how that helped me on my road to recovery. I wrote is about a year and half ago. Enjoy 🙂

Exhaustion
By: Erin Elizabeth Casey
 
I never could tell when I was tired
Because I never allowed myself to say no
I need to be perfect – that was required
So after a while you forget how you feel and what you know
 
But this weekend exhausted me
It was go go go
not a lot of time to relax and just be
I felt temptation from both above and below
But I now have tools, the language and knowledge of recovery
It may be hard but I know what I need even so
 
Exhaustion is a huge trigger of mine
Especially when I keep going saying “I’m fine.”
But recognizing my symptoms, then taking action too
Keeps me healthy; it’s true
I’ve learned that I can only truly shine
when I’m not faking it, and I’m actually doing fine
 
Exhaustion is a body’s way of saying:
 
“It’s time to take a break”
“Listen up! Your health is at stake!”
“If you keep going like this – you’ll decline quickly too”
“Just take a break, rest up, and you’ll be good as new!”
 
I loved feeling how body my handled things in recent days
And thinking about all my old unhealthy ways 
Though sometimes incredibly tempting here and there
I’ll always choose to rest when needed —
rather than ignore my exhaustion and end up in despair

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