For me, recovery from my eating disorder at times went full throttle ahead; other times recovery seemed to move along inch by inch almost as though I was not moving forward at all. It was scary and frustrating and confusing and complicated and exhausting all at the same time.
I remember the first time I went to Sonic. I was with my best friend Lori Dowd and I ordered a M&M Blast, which consisted of vanilla ice cream, m&m’s, and whipped cream. I remember Lori was shocked (and thrilled I might add), smiling she said “Yeahhh that’s what I’m talking about.” Normally people don’t recommend eating ice cream for lunch, but in that moment I was facing a few of my biggest fears. Fast food restaurants were places filled of triggers and behaviors when my eating disorder yelled loudly in my ear; however we talked about kicking my eating disorder’s butt as I swallowed bite after bite. We laughed through the difficulty and made a lasting memory. Today Sonic is one of our favorite spots to get one of their limade type drinks (yumm!) and chat. Probably because it was there together we ate ice cream and said “screw you ED.” That was a moment of acceleration that reminded me during the times of painfully slow and exhausting progress that: I can do this.
In the recovery process sometimes it is the littlest things make an lasting impact.
My name is Erin and This is Where I Stand.