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p5I’ll be the first to admit to you that I am a difficult person; sometimes I am a REALLY difficult person. I am strong willed, stubborn, literal, and not so “go with the flow.” Sometimes in my effort to be efficient I become insensitive; other times I am blinded from the truth by how much I care for someone.

I am human; therefore I am difficult.

I could tell you that my mental health diagnoses make me more difficult, but I’m not sure I would agree with that. Rather, those diagnoses that I face, make my challenges different and/or distinctive from the challenges of others but we’re all different really. We are all going to have different levels of patience and anxieties, talents, and handicaps. There is no universal standard when it comes to these things.

I am human; therefore I am different.

I always sound more harsh in emails than I intend. I have unfairly high expectations of people (and myself). Just before I really trust someone I push them away. These are some examples of ways I know that I am difficult, and things that right now people have to learn about me and honestly learn to love me anyway.  But the point is we all have things like this, we’re all difficult in our own way and it’s up to us to give ourselves and each other grace.

Something that I started doing not too long ago was sharing some of these things with people before I had the chance to unintentally hurt them!

I am human; therefore I am capable

Everyday I learn that I am not only capable of learning to deal with, live with, and even love the difficult people in my life but growing personally myself; but also I learn that there are things that I can do, and work on to become less difficult. I admit there are parts and things about me that I cannot change. I also know though that being able to change and grow is nothing but beautiful.

My name is Erin and This is Where I Stand.