Have you ever felt misunderstood?
(Does it make you nervous or frustrated?)
Most likely you have. I know I have (many times). People have interpreted my sometimes quietness and holding back as “judgmental” and “stuck up”. People have interpreted my sometimes loud-to-the-point and direct style of communication as “bossy”.
I’ve been taken as aggressive, weak, strong, cold, flaky, too intense, overconfident, under confident, fearful, distant, nosey, mean, too soft, and too emotional (and that is JUST the beginning)!!!
I used to obsess about what people were thinking about me and why. We all only get these micro-glimpses into each others’ lives (and get nowhere near what is going on inside of each other’s brains) so who are we to judge? Learning how someone is acting has very little to do with me personally was a lesson that set me free.
After all while one person is thinking I’m being to soft the next is thinking I’m being too cold. I lived my life in constant turmoil trying to please everyone.
What does my mom think?
What does my dad think?
What does my math teacher think?
what does my history teacher think?
what does my best friend think?
what does my dance teacher think?
What does the boy I like think?
What will colleges thing?
What does the popular kid think?
What does my boss think?
What do the kids I work with think?
Talk about a headache.
If most of the people above had differing opinions about even just one thing – my life became chaotic; most of the time it was hard for me to discern what I even thought, wanted or felt because I was too concerned with how everyone else thought or felt.
Thankfully today that’s done.
I’ve learned that the most important thing in my life is that I know why I do what I do. If I can answer that question to myself with confidence nothing else really matters.
If people misunderstand my methods or motivation I’m always happy to have a conversation. But at the end of the day; while you are surrounded with friends, family, community, you need to know why YOU did what YOU did and WHO you did it for.
My name is Erin and This is Where I Stand.