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IMG_1847I sit on my therapist’s green couch every other week these days and we talk about tools, emotions, recovery, being proud of myself, being grateful, goals, disappointments, relationships, work and everything or anything else that comes up.

Therapy is a tool that I use to help me navigate through some of the more challenging or complicated parts of my life. It’s a treatment that has taught me new ways of doing things and/or reacting to situations; because I’ve been through things and have certain illnesses that require additional assistance and are particularly challenging.

I think of my therapist like a swim teacher, and life an ocean. She can’t save me, carry me, do it (meaning life) for me. She doesn’t pull me down or attempt to create more waves either. No, my therapist teaches me how to swim on my own so that I can live outside of realms of treatment.

It’s so easy to wish someone could just make me better. I’ve wished on occasion that my medication was all I needed. I’ve prayed to God asking why he didn’t just cure me. And at times in my life I have put all of my hopes into treatment providers to be my lifesaver rather than my swim teacher.

Honestly though, learning to live outside of treatment, or within the realms of this metaphor learning to swim, while it has been incredibly difficult sometimes seemly impossible has been more gratifying than anything or any accomplishment I can remember.

I spent so long searching for someone to save me. Then I realized I could save myself.

My therapists over the years have been vital to my treatment, recovery and success in maintain it. But, but even as my therapist changed I continued to work, to learn, to utilize. You are you’re very own constant. You have the opportunity to learn from the people in your life no matter how long they are there.

The purpose of a therapist is to teach you you to swim on your own in this ocean of life with waves and storms and sharks – so what you know you’ll be okay.

My name is Erin and This is Where I Stand.