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Alcohol: Deception at its finest
By: Christina Mannarano

hqdefaultAlcohol was an easy way to fit in with others, and feel more confident in myself. I wouldn’t say peer pressure was always an influence on me; it definitely made things worse, but majority of my drinking was my own influence. I took control, in the worst way, of my drinking. I wanted to get drunk, to become the center of attention, or to feel numb to any of my actions. I wanted to become drunk to build my self-confidence.

Mark Twain said, “The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.” I feel this encapsulates how I felt throughout my senior year and my early college years. I felt so comfortable when I was drunk. I felt pretty and sexy, confident and intelligent, truthfully, I felt better. I liked me.

When I was drinking recreationally, I knew that having “liquid courage” was an expectation of alcohol. I knew that when I would drink I would feel this way. I knew that by drinking, I would lose all reservations, but I was ok with it. I accepted any attention I received, and I was happy with it. The worst part about it, is the moment I sobered up, I would look at the events that took place while under the influence and admit that it was because of alcohol. Any attention I received was simply due to the actions I made while under the influence. I didn’t care what I did or who I did it with. (That’s an entirely new subject that I will dive into another time)

Alcohol is a scary thing. It influences you to do things you normally wouldn’t. It truly plays as a “liquid courage” form, but that’s very dangerous. You can end up somewhere unknown, doing things extremely dangerous and regretful. It’s not all fun and games, or what the commercials and actors show you, there are scary sides, dangerous sides. This is the reality.

I’m Christina and this is Where I Stand.