September 27th: Okay this is going to be the last time. After today, I’m never going to do this again. I can’t it’s horrible for me. It’s bad. Last time ever.
October 9th: Screw it, I need to do it tonight. Then it really will be the last time. I know for sure, I mean today has been horrible. Tomorrow I start fresh.
October 11th: I know I said last time was the last time, but really this is the last time. I mean I’m going to write it down and everything.
October 12th: Yesterday I really meant tomorrow. Crap. Maybe I can’t stop.
October 13th: Screw it, this is my life. I give up.
I felt helpless, trapped, isolated and completely out of control in my own body for years. I don’t think there is a person alive who truly knows the turmoil I was in simply because there aren’t really words to describe it.
I franticly tried to fix things I hated about myself with behaviors that I hated and were killing me and that I knew I needed to stop, but had become addicted too.
I fell to pieces.
Reaching out for help when you don’t know which way is up or what is up or right for you is only only brave; it is survival instinct. I work with people all over the world who fight for recovery from their mental illnesses and addictions as a support because this isn’t something we can do left to our own thoughts and distortions.
We ALL need support.
You are not alone.
Today ask for help or support; your’e worth it.
My name is Erin and This is Where I Stand.