Tags
addiction, health, Multiple sclerosis, recovery, relapse, Slip (treatment), Substance abuse, support group
“Relapse is part of recovery.”
The first time someone spoke those words to me I thought to myself: well it won’t be part of my recovery. My recovery is going to be perfect. Alas, I was wrong and my perspective at the time was being blocked by my own perfectionism and misunderstanding of the recovery process.
One of the biggest reasons I assumed that I would not have to deal with relapse or slips or mess ups or anything of that sort was I’ve been known to be a little bit of an overachiever. What I didn’t realize initially was in recovery you can’t just “work harder” to make it go away. It truly, honest to God is a process; and relapse and slips are part of that process.
You can imagine how I felt during that first relapse. My head swirled with negative thoughts:
“I’m a failure”
“This is impossible.”
“I’m too broken to ever get better.”
The truth was though it wasn’t me that was broken or wrong – it was my perception of what the recovery process was.
So today we’re going to talk about the place of relapse and slips in the recovery process.
A Relapse – occurs when then current treatment plan that you are working with is not working effectively to keep you healthy and in a place of recovery.
A Slip – occurs as an isolated event that happens as a “mistake” or “slip-up”. A Slip is followed by careful examination of possible triggers and open accountability with your treatment team/supports.
During the time when I was telling myself that I was going to be perfect at recovery I was setting myself up for failure. One of the most positive things about accepting that relapse and slips are going to occur is that is gives you time to prepare for them. After being humbled in the recovery process through relapse/slips I realized how much I had learned from each situation that brought me further on my journey to health.
Briefly to begin to prepare for your own relapse and slips answer these questions:
- What situations in life cause heightened emotions?
- Who can I be accountable to when I am not doing well?
- Why do I want recovery?
- What are some of my most effective coping skills?
- How do I define my recovery?
- What are my signs of Relapse?
If you want to talk more about Recovery, Relapse and Slips feel free to email us at whereistandblog@gmail.com or wait for more posts on the subject.
Always remember that recovery is a lot like life and in life there is no perfection.
My name is Erin and This is Where I Stand.
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Where I Stand 
Hello! I guess the words that hit me were Relapse is a part of Recovery. Unfortunately it is…but in my belief..No it is not…and it should not be. Its sorta like saying…meeting makers make it. Again, no they do not!
If we dont have a spiritual experience then we do not recover. People need to stop making excuses and giving the ok to newcomers saying if you relapse, its just a part of recovery. Wow!!
Lets stop making excuses and get these newcomers strong…not by buttercoating it. 🙂
I so respectfully disagree with you, Erin. A relapse does not have to happen and I hate to plant the seeds for those new in recovery that it’s ok or expected. Some people won’t live through a relapse or “a slip” and we really have to be careful about calling the disease the disease. It kills every day. No matter how difficult life becomes, we never have to pick up a substance. It won’t help, and might kill. And it’s not “normal” to relapse. Now, having said that, I find no use in judging anyone’s relapse either. Figure it out and move forward. But I don’t want the dealership telling me a “stall” every now and again is “normal” for my car. It means something isn’t right and it needs attention. Best to you! And I appreciate your visit to my site.
“…I don’t want the dealership telling me a “stall” every now and again is “normal” for my car. It means something isn’t right and it needs attention.” I couldn’t agree more (notice the preparation part of the post).
I also want to mention that this post was not solely meant for substance abuse. The Transtheoretical Model of behavior change takes into account the various steps a person goes through when making a life altering or major change in their life. Acknowledging the possibility for relapse, the difficulty associated with changes being made, and proactively planing ahead has proven results for more lasting recovery be it substance abuse, depression, a mood or behavioral disorder or an eating disorder.
It’s almost as like you are going into a situation with all of the facts rather than just some of them. If you bought your car believing it would never break down and then it did – it would be easy for your emotions to get the better of you, rather than dealing with the situation more rationally already with a plan in place as to what to do when it occurred.
Thanks for your comment,
Erin
This was very timely information for our family. Thank you for the reminder that slips can be part of the recovery process and to not get discouraged. Keep doing what you are doing. You are an inspirational young woman!
Congrats on being recognized by your alma mater. Your story is an inspiration to all of living through mental illness.I agree with you.. I think that any journey is one of many steps. And while you can plan the path not every step is going to be surefooted. Recovery is a series of highs, lows and plateaus. I’m in the process of overcoming a plateau myself. I think its important to remember that every low will pass and every step you take is still part of the journey forward.
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With Borderline Personality Disorder, slip-ups and relapse are absolutely a part of recovery. When you’ve done things one way your entire life, and you have to learn a whole new way of dealing with everything, you’re gonna slip-up. You’re gonna probably relapse. And that’s to be expected. If you expect to be able to change your entire life overnight, without making one single mistake ever, you’re gonna be very disappointed.
In Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT), we learn how to deal with slip-ups and relapses before they happen. We learn not to beat ourselves up for being human and making mistakes while we’re learning. We learn to be gentle with ourselves. We learn to not continue beating ourselves up like others have done to us our entire lives, until it became our inner voice. We learn to speak to ourselves kindly, like we needed someone to do to us growing up. We learn to not feel like failures. We learn to change those negative thoughts and things we say to ourselves into kind, forgiving ones.
Please visit my website to learn more about Borderline Personality Disorder: http://makebpdstigmafree.wordpress.com/
Reblogged this on MAKE BPD STIGMA-FREE!.
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